A Letter to ‘My Riley’
Usually we train to avoid hitting the proverbial wall of a marathon . In doing so, can we continue to break down other walls?
My 4 year old niece Riley is a beautiful, energetic, happy child. She is more thoughtful than most adults and her kindness always impresses me. She came to visit this weekend and was impressed by my collection of trophies from high school running. Her initial thought was, ‘maybe I’ll be that fast and win some trophies too.’ Later in the week,track and field was on my mom was watching it, so Riley stopped her perpetual movement and studied the athletes in the women’s 5k race. She was crestfallen to realize most of the distance girls are white. Here’s my letter to her:
Dear Riley,
Never let looks, gender or anyone’s opinion hold you back from what you want to achieve. Many people give up when it gets too hard but hard work and perseverance can make up and exceed natural ability. Katherine Switzer disguised herself to become the first woman to run a marathon. Joan Benoit Samuelson pushed the boundaries farther by winning the first Olympic marathon. Deena Kastor overcame her own self doubt to become one of the most decorated female distance runners in American history. Catherine “The Great” Ndereba rose from birth in Gatuanganga, Nyeri County to a family of to ten through sheer hard work to become marathon royalty.
We all fail. I have woken up with IVs in my arm after passing out during races. I have been rejected by schools, boys and more professional opportunities than I can count. But through it all, know what you deserve and never lets anyone’s opinion persuade you to settle for anything less. Keep showing up every day.
Finally, find a pack of strong, driven individuals who will catch you when you fall, push you when you stumble and clap the loudest for you when you succeed. Whether it is running, jumping or whatever you may choose, be the best you can be. Work hard and honor the journey. Misty Copeland becoming one of the first African American ballerinas with an athletic build in a field dominated by white waifs through determination. Whatever your stage little one, shine brightly.
“May the wind always be at your back and the sun upon your face. And may the wings of destiny carry you aloft to dance with the stars.”
Love you little girl,
Your Lauren
Focus on the Positive
Santa Claus. Easter Bunny. Over night success. Three things that I don’t believe exist. Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team. Jeff Besos started Amazon in his garage. Walt Disney filed for bankruptcy. While the public sees Jordan sinking the winning shot, the multi-billion-dollar company that is now Amazon and the empire of Disney, the struggle to get to the top is often overlooked. We like success stories, but hard work isn’t glamourous. Anything worth accomplishing is often accompanied by blood, sweat, tears and moments of doubt. Especially in the modern day of Instagram and social media. Presentation of perfection is what ‘influencers’ package.
Leading up to Grandma’s Marathon, I was working through issues of self-doubt and anxiety. Track workouts were creating paralyzing anxiety and second guessing. I had missed one workout due to a go-live which kept me in the office until 9pm. I cut a key progression run short because of heat and humidity. Dropping out of Chicago in October was still haunting me. A final tune up race shook my confidence, I had gone out too fast and suffered in the final miles. When I talked to my coach, he agreed that race highlighted some flaws in strategy I needed to be aware of. Namely, go out conservatively and I’d feel better running the same effort. Roger that.
While I was moping in Baltimore after the tune-up race, 2 weeks before Grandma’s marathon, my friends Chad and Dustin reached out to ask how I did. I told them I had gotten 5th overall female but was not happy with the results. Chad made a comment that my coach echoed in the next few weeks (I still don’t know if Chad made this statistic up or actually found it somewhere). Only 1% of runners, male or female go under 3 hours in the marathon. I was attempting to join the 2% in the upcoming marathon so while the general public might see whatever I’m doing as fantastic, I’m the most critical of myself. Christine Taranto (a friend since high school track and successful marathon runner/coach) had previously said, “the person that cares the most about your time/splits is you.” My brother-in-law set me straight a few times by letting me know that no one likes to hear about bad workouts. All of these comments were the beginning of a new thought process, running for fun versus centering my whole identity on how I performed that day.
The next two weeks, I began to just be thankful that I had overcome a 10-year running retirement where I had partied too hard and made my share of bad decisions. I was grateful that my body was able to bounce back from being in a walking cast just 4 months earlier. I began to feed off the encouragement and support of friends and family. I set a goal for myself to mentally stay in the race, no matter how I felt physically.
The night before the race, I was with one of the elite guys. He was relaxed but focused. This was reassuring to me. I didn’t get nervous but fixated on execution of the plan Coach and I had discussed. On the bus ride to the starting line, I joked and talked with the girl that I sat by, staying very relaxed, which was a first for me. I stayed calm with the self-reassurance that I had done the work and no matter what I would do the best with what my body could offer that day, another suggestion from my coach.
Thankfully, I felt great during the race. I was easily able to maintain the planned pace and had to hold myself back a few times. Coach also suggested that good, bad or ugly, learn a lesson every time you race. The lesson Grandma’s marathon taught me was the power of the mind. A girl I met during the race was extremely positive and worked with me for the first 10 miles. Another woman joined and immediately said, “we’ll we feel great now but at the half we’re going to start hitting 7:45 pace and feel awful.” That was when I knew it was time to start accelerating. Once negative thoughts begin to creep in, it’s easy to let your mind wander and the self-doubt flood your positive vibes.
The same lesson applies to personal goals. After the race, at the elite athlete banquet, a girl who had qualified for the Olympic trials was talking about girls who had PRed but didn’t’ qualify and were disappointed. She point-blank said it’s hard to drop 3 minutes much less more than 10 (something I’m trying to do next). I let that roll off like water off a duck’s back. We kept talking and she realized what my aspirations were and apologized. I hadn’t been insulted because her path was different than mine. I have complete confidence in my coach, training and the friends and family that support me. When CIM comes around I will be in the best possible position to do the impossible. The foundation of achieving any goal, personal or professional is believing that you can and only allowing the people that encourage and support you into your inner circle. Failing is a possibility but I would take trying over complacency every time.
Life Lessons Learned from Running
Many endeavors translate into life lessons: through yoga I learned the power of sitting still, bad boyfriends have taught me to put a higher value on what I’ll allow but nothing has been as consistent or turbulent a force as running has. Running has taught me to be consistent in my training, persistent in pursuing my goals and–an idealist when it comes to setting those goals (aim higher than you think is possible and work like hell). Stride for stride, I have achieved more than the shy soon-to-be high school sophomore ever thought possible when she signed up for her first season of cross country.
Someone once told me that a marathon is only the last 26.2 miles of the journey to the finish line. Reflecting on the miles of training, many evenings of preparing for the next days workout (and skipping that happy hour in the process), cross-training when an injury flared or coming home to ice and use the compression boots to prevent injury. Not to mention monitoring diet, lifting, stabilizing exercises, stretches and packing the daily running bag, I would say this assessment is completely accurate. A full marathon training cycle is a lifestyle change, if you want to do more than just finish the race.
In the child’s tale, the tortoise and the hare, the hare has superior speed but loses to the persistent, plodding tortoise. An analogy my coach Joe Puleo responded with but many runners understand. Staying constant when it comes to training adds up, much like deposits in a bank. Some coins saved here and there become a formidable amount over time. When asked what life lessons running has taught them, the majority of people responded with the words: consistency, perseverance or hard work rewarded by performance.
Ability to Achieve More than Initially Thought…
Another common life lesson many runners credited to logging miles, was the capability to achieve more than they initially believed they could. Setting big or small goals, working hard to achieve them and then creating another one. Not many new runners set out to run a marathon, my friend Chad Shipley being an exception (more about that later)… many newbies begin with a variation of couch to 5K in mind. Once they achieve that, they progress to a 10K or a stretch goal of a half marathon. Working their way up to more and more challenging goals. Consistent training does not always translate into race day though. Due to a variety of less than optimal conditions, a personal best or goal is not always the outcome. Ben Blankenship says it best, “The beautiful thing about racing is that masochistic feeling of absolute belief that you can go faster next time.” I have been running for almost 20 years, and have walked away from a number of races, I can count on a single hand, thinking I couldn’t have gone faster. Each race should teach you a lesson and no matter the outcome, keep moving forward.
Community
Runners are a special group of people. One respondent said she likes to lead by example, smiling and encouraging others gives her additional energy for her own run. Another stated that she respects each individual’s efforts, “one person’s 5K is another person’s marathon (or ultra). Finally, another response was that you can’t judge a book by it’s cover. Trying to figure out who’s going to be fast or slow is not always as easy as categorizing the ‘people that look like runners.’
Back to Chad’s story, when he was reading David Goggin’s book, he decided to do the Pittsburgh marathon. The general population told him he was crazy. His ‘runner’ friends took a different approach, they each gave him suggestions for training, recovery and things they had learned along the way, so he didn’t repeat their mistakes. Runners will normally welcome anyone’s goals with enthusiasm and encouragement. Chad successfully finished his first marathon this spring.
When I first started racing again, I was not in the shape that my mind thought I was on. I tend to take races out hard and struggle the last mile or so (still true and still something I’m working on). The Turkey Trot a few years ago was no different, however after the last turn around, with a little over a half mile to go, a woman passed me and said,’ we are finishing together and raising our arms over our heads. Stay with me’. The way she said it, made me dig deep enough to pick up the pace just slightly to match her stride. I never learned her name, but that day I learned a valuable lesson. Whenever possible, encourage others, because her words helped me find a new wind. Christina Roberts says it best, “There will be hard days, there will be easy days; the tools to adaptation are between your ears, and among the tribe you’ve built around you.”
Imperfect Conditions/Runs
Adverse conditions will teach you more about yourself and your limits than the ideal 50 degree, partially sunny day will. Any time in running or life that the finish line must be earned and fortitude displayed, it becomes appreciated that much more.
A bad run just like a bad day, happens. You need to push it aside and try again tomorrow. There are countless times that I’ve felt awful one day but like a Rockstar the next day. Take a bad run in stride and let it roll like water off a duck’s back.
My Favorites
A few life lessons, that I couldn’t fit into any of the previous categories are:
“(In an ultra) Recognize and fix a problem and move forward. Don’t waste time and energy worrying about it. Focus on what is working and going well. I apply those principles to my life as well,” as quoted by Whitney Richman. If I was looking for a mantra, this would be it. Too often in a race (and sometimes life) I focus on what’s gone wrong, wasting energy and letting my mind unravel. By switching gears, and highlighting what is going right, you’ll be able to use a reverse avalanche effect to propel yourself forward by encouraging the good stuff to keep coming your way.
“You are capable of more than you think but you also need to know your limits and your body.” Excellent summary to my last race, I started off at a 5:50 per mile pace and paid for it. If I would have been more reserved at the beginning I would have had reserves in the tank for the last few miles.
“Running has taught me to appreciate the pain. Running hurts. It hurts if I’m racing and when I’m not. It gives me a sense of accomplishment and fulfillment because I can feel it. Running doesn’t get easier. We get faster,” Dustin Kalkbrenner answered my life lessons in running this way. It is completely accurate, going one of my last races, I thought I had done the training and I would glide over the pavement and sail smoothly to a new PR. That was not the case, but it reinforced running usually hurts and I was prepared to embrace the pain when I lined up for the Houston half, where I PR’ed by almost 13 minutes.
“After every uphill battle there’s a downhill break eventually. Don’t get caught up with the struggle and remember things will get better,” my friend Nicki couldn’t have summarized it better. She’s been with me since the beginning, witnessing all the highs/lows and in-betweens of my running career. Most things were/are curable with a Slurpee though.
Whatever life lessons running has taught you, there’s something magical about the feeling of your feet alternatively hitting the pavement. Your breath methodically going in and out and your arms pumping. After a bad day, a run makes it seem insignificant. Starting the day with a run creates a sense of accomplishment. Your run may be the only time you make for yourself throughout the day but savor the translation between the act of running and the way its lessons can trickle into most aspects of the larger life picture.
Move Bend Be 